Category Archives: Health Humor

The Latest in Health Fashion

Alright ladies, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but purses are so out and bacteria is so in!

Fashion Credit: Fendi

While handbags were once fancied for their custom embroidery and their name-brand buckles, the newest purse-trend hitting the fashion world this season is bacteria, and one in five women are already rocking this new look on their fashionable shoulders. Along with wallets, keys, and compact mirrors, a new study conducted by the oh-so fashionable, Initial Washroom Hygiene, reveals that 20 percent of handbags also carry around more bacteria than a toilet seat, both inside and outside of the bag.

SEXY.

But don’t worry! We all know that fashion comes with a price tag, but this new trend is completely free, and, who knows, you may already be stuntin’ trendy bacteria because this new look is literally contagious, according to Peter Barratt, technical manager at Initial Hygiene (Trust him… Rumor has it, he’s Kim Kardashian’s stylist too ;) ).

“Handbags come into regular contact with our hands and a variety of surfaces, so the risk of transferring different germs onto them is very high, especially as bags are rarely cleaned,” Barratt says to Medical News Today.

So where can you find this latest germ-trend?

How about placing your purse down on a pile of dried up gum on the floor while tying your shoe?

Or placing it on a public bench at a bus stop next to a homeless man?

 

A trashcan may do the trick.

 

Better yet, why not actually place the purse on a toilet to get that toilet-fashion look seen on the runways?

And don’t forget, basically anything you touch can be made into a fashion statement… just as long as you’re not using soap and water. If you simply don’t wash your hands after using the restroom, grabbing door handles or using public transportation, the little accessories in your bag (coin purses, lotions, etc.) can be just as high fashion as the actual bag itself, too!

Now, get your health fash on!

On a real note, it is suggested to use cleansing wipes to clean your purses daily to remove accumulated bacteria on the outside of the bags. It is also recommended to use hand wipes/sanitizers after grabbing items from inside of the purse to prevent spreading germs that are found inside of the bag. These statistics and sources are real, but the fashion trend isn’t. Stay germ free ladies!

If at first you don’t succeed…

… Just try, try again!

I believe in you ;)

Caption That! The Power Couple

The name of the game is Caption That!

All you have to do is think of a brief and funny caption to go with a given health photo and post it in the comments below. The person who comes up with the funniest saying will have their caption featured on the next Caption That! I love an Internet joke that can make me laugh, so let’s see some good,  healthy competition ;)

Today’s photo: The Power Couple

Your caption goes here:   _____________________________________.

Word of the Day: Calories

Make a Playlist, Be a Diva

FACT: A workout without a pump-up playlist is like a club without a DJ spinning… boring and awkward. When it comes to working out, music is the biggest motivator because it’s sure to get the feet moving and the mind dreaming, and the best way to rock your workout is by rocking to a beat. Whether I’m walking, jogging or lying on a yoga mat working on my abs, the moment my girl Beyoncé belts out a tune, I swear my running shoes are heels and the gym is my stage.  So make a playlist, and be a diva… because divas always look good.

Need some songs to get you goin’? Here’s my favorite Pump-Up Playlist for some music ideas:

Happy Monday…

… Couples Therapy: Tips to switch up your cardio routine

…The Break Up Continued

Therapist: So what’s going on between the two of you?

Me: Well, Treadmill and I used to have a healthy relationship and we were really happy. He used to make me completely out of breath, drench me in sweat and made me burn a lot of calories. But now after being with him for so long, I just don’t feel like he’s doing much for me anymore and I’m not getting a good workout.

Therapist: Well, it looks like you just need to switch up your workout routine. It’s not that you’re over Treadmill, you’re over running. So my advice for you is to take it slow and start walking.

Me: Ha! That’s funny. I’m not going to waste my time walking. I don’t sweat when I walk, therefore, I’m not getting a good workout.

Therapist: Well, Gi, that’s where you have it all wrong… When it comes to burning fat, cardio is important because it increases your heart rate. It’s not how much you’re sweating or even how winded you are after you workout, it’s having an increased heart rate that you should be worrying about.

An increase in heart rate means that your heart is demanding more oxygen so it can pump blood to the rest of the body efficiently, and yes, running will do this for you because you are pushing the body really hard and the body needs more oxygen to keep up. But walking can do the same thing too.

When you’re running on Treadmill, you’re heart rate increases to between 150-180 (which is, by the way, the number you need in order to slim down), and walking, although you are not pushing yourself as hard, can still make you maintain this heart rate. All you need to do is play with the inclination levels. This way, you’re not just walking because your body is requiring more oxygen to push yourself uphill, which raises the heart rate, resulting in burning unwanted fat.

So don’t worry about the amount of sweat you’re wiping off your forehead, focus on your heart and what it needs.

Here’s what you guys should do to get your healthy relationship back:

  1. Set the treadmill between 3.5-3.8 speed.
  2. Start off with zero percent incline and start walking.
  3. For each minute that passes, increase the inclination by one percent. So at five minutes, you should have 5 percent incline, and by 10 minutes, you should have 10 percent incline.
  4. Keep adding inclination to your steady speed until you are at 15 percent incline after 15 minutes of walking.
  5. Now, for every minute past 15, decrease the inclination one percent. So at 16 minutes you should be at 14 percent incline, and at 25 minutes you’re at 5 percent incline.
  6. Do this until you’ve reached 30 minutes and you’re inclination level is back at zero.
  7. Make sure you are NOT holding on to the treadmill! That defeats the purpose of making your body work hard to push yourself uphill.

Now get back to me in a few weeks and tell me if you guys are still together ;) Who knows? Maybe you’ll sweat just as much as the first time you guys met.

 

The Breakup…

Hey Treadmill, can we talk?

 

So this is really hard for me to tell you, but I have to get it off my chest.

First, I really want you to know how thankful I am to of had you all these years. You’ve always been there for me when I needed you the most, like that one Thanksgiving when I gained a few pounds.

But, I’ve been thinking about it… I think it’s time we go our separate ways. I just don’t feel the same about you anymore.

Before, you used to take my breath away, but now I don’t even feel the passion. I mean, my shoes aren’t even squeaking when I run.

And I think we lost the spark between us because my heart isn’t beating as fast for you.

I’m sorry Treadmill. I swear it’s not you, it’s me. I just need to sweat more.

So I’m breaking up with you.

Oh, and I think I should let you know now… I’m kinda already seeing other machines…

To be continued…

Remember… Your are what you eat

Everyone has one…

… that one outfit that makes you look fat.